Scattershot: Low-Blow Screenshots

S

Social-Media Algorithms Strike Again

Dang it, y’all. Despite recent upgrades in my personal life, the Almighty Social-Media Algorithm still thinks I got a drug problem. The Omniscient One continues to market me as a lonesome, lone wolf on the prowl for love.

Maybe everyday is Saturday morning.”
—Drive-By Truckers*
*

Both of which I understand, given my history. But all this mess about me being as soft as a pat of butter on a warm stove? Going bald? Lonely and needing to trim my pubes so I can holler at girls in ripped jeans?

Not true! At least not yet.

Anyhoo, here’s a sample of some screenshots taken from my social-media accounts over the past couple weeks

I know that feeling WAY too well.
It sucks, as I’m sure some (*most) of y’all know.
But can you admit it?
Single and sporting some ripped jeans, can’t help but wonder: Is she hot?
I might be thinning, and I might need glasses more by the day, but I damn sure hope I’m not that dorky. Def. don’t hang my tools like this goober.

WOW – almost half-a-million views.
Self-absorbed society for the win.
p.s. Dude looks nervous AF
How does the Almighty Algorithm
know ‘bout THAT?
How do you prove it didn’t work?
Written testimony from unsatisfied lovers?
Pics? VIDEO?
Y’all seen that eggplant for the penis enhancement doctor on 13th Street viaduct? Dang purple veggie is universal these days.
WTF is that?
Looks like one of her *special* toys.
Again, HOW DOES IT KNOW?????

*****************
Much ado about nothing from one man typing high above beautiful downtown Columbus, Georgia, at Electric City HQ on the 4th floor of the Heritage Tower, Scattershot is a weekly feature composed by ECL Editor Frank Etheridge. It rambles on while reflecting on the week behind.

Lady Columbus watching over Heritage Tower

** Taken from lyrics in the song, “Two Daughters and a Beautiful Wife”
by the Drive-By Truckers, a band that gives me infinite inspiration.

About the author

Frank Etheridge

Native son and veteran journalist Frank Etheridge is Editor of Electric City, a digital media outlet dedicated to documenting the news and culture of Columbus, Georgia.

Add Comment